Hotel Transylvania

Hotel Transylvania – Alternate Version

or

How To Fracture A Fairy Tale

by Abbacor

In this version Murray the Mummy is late and has not arrived yet. We start the show with Jonathan having just arrived and is entering the hotel. Count Dracula is coming down the stairs having consoled his daughter Mavis and watches a new guest squeeze through the revolving doors. Once the person is revealed in the light he sees that it is not a monster as the shadowy profile might have indicated.

“A human.”

In an instant Dracula crosses the long lobby and the speed of his travel has them both spinning around in the revolving door as he questions the human.

“Who are you? And how did you find this place?”

“I’m Jonathan. I was just mountain climbing with some dudes and I heard this story about a spooky forest. And who’s not going to go into a spooky forest, right?

“So then I see these goofy-looking dudes on fire and I just kind of followed them to this, like, amazing castle.”

 

Dracula remembers the warnings the foreman gave him when the castle was originally completed.

“But, of course, be smart. No bonfires, no firework shows.”

Returning to the human, Dracula wants to know, “How many of you are there?”

“Just me. I like to hit it alone,” Jonathan answers. “You meet so many awesome people in the youth hostels.

“Hey, speaking of awesome. That cape is killing it. Is there, like, a costume party here?”

Dracula realizes his mistake with the fake town.

“What have I done? This is all my fault.

“You have to leave.”

Taking Jonathan outside Dracula encounters several new guests coming in.

“Oh, no.”

“Excuse me. One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.”

“Be right with you,” Dracula tells them, then he is gone back inside in a flash dragging Jonathan with him and keeping him held tightly under his cape.

Dracula is stopped by a Hydra.

“Mr. Dracula, we asked for a room with a view of the pool,” one head says.

“The room’s fine,” another head butts in. “We want to book a massage.”

Several of the heads agree and add to the order.

“Yes, Swedish.”

“Shiatsu.”

“Aromatherapy.”

“Lower back.”

“Do you have hot-stone?”

“We want a massage.”

“I’ll get back to you, Mr. Hydraberg,” Dracula defers and is away in a flash again.

“I hope so.”

“I doubt it.”

“See that you do.”

“That’s Ms. Hydraberg.”

“Thanks.”

“Yes, nice to see you,” Dracula responds to another guest who waves at him.

“Dude, seriously, what’s up?” Jonathan questions from under Dracula’s cape. “It’s kinda funky to breathe under here.”

Count Dracula ignores Jonathan and keeps looking for a way to get rid of him, then encounters Frank.

“Drac. Hey, Drac. How’d it go with Mavey?”

Dracula jumps into a pile of luggage with Jonathan, then slips out the other side where Frank does not see him.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

Finally Dracula gets Jonathan out of sight in a closet.

“Wow! This room’s kinda small for castle,” Jonathan says while looking around a bit. “No bed, but check out these awesome dustpans they give you.”

“Quiet you fool,” Dracula commands while he begins to rifle through Jonathan’s enormous backpack. “What weapons are you keeping in this container. Your pitchforks?”

He pulls out a wrinkled and smelly t-shirt and gives it a sniff.

“I can’t breathe. It’s killing me!”

“Yeah, definitely due for a fluff and fold,” Jonathan replies while stuffing the t-shirt back in the pack.

Dracula finds an I-pod in a pocket.

“What is this? A torture device? A secret mind controller? You won’t read my thoughts! I won’t let you!”

Jonathan takes the device back.

“Dude, it’s just music. Here, try it,” he tells Dracula while inserting the earbuds in Dracula’s ears and turning it on.

“It’s taking my soul!” wails Dracula.

“What? It’s a good jam. Don’t be a grandpa.”

“You need to go. No human has ever entered this castle, and if someone should see you the safety of the hotel, the sanctuary, no one would ever come again.”

“Yeah, go for it.” Jonathan quips while looking around some more, not really paying attention to Dracula’s ramblings.

“Ever come again!” Jonathan repeats the end of Dracula’s rant. “I love your Dracula voice. It’s so over the top.”

“And Mavis! If she saw you,” Dracula continues, “she would know that I lied. No!”

“Who’s Mavis?” Jonathan asks. “Is this her room? I’m good with a roommate. I had six brothers growing up so I could totally share.”

“I can’t kill him. It would set monsters back hundreds of years! Wait, what did you say about sharing?”

“One time, in Hamburg, I roomed with this dude who I caught stealing my shampoo. I said, ‘Whoa, man’ and he threw a flower pot at me, but he’s cool.”

“What are you babbling about?”

“What? Whoa. Check out these awesome costumes.”

“Costumes,” Dracula repeats with a gleam in his eye.

‘I can put him in Murray’s suite. Then maybe I can use the services Murray normally gets to make this human disappear,’ Dracula thinks with a sly grin.

“What’s this?” Jonathan asks just as Dracula yanks his backpack off him.

“Sorry man, I just can’t be without my backpack you know. Everything I own’s in there.”

“It’ll be right here,” Dracula informs Jonathan as he sets the backpack aside.

“Okay, I just ... I love my backpack.

“Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?”

“How would you like a first class stay here at the castle? On me.”

“But I thought you said I had to go?”

“You do, but I can’t get you out right now so I have to hide you. I’ll put you in a room for a guest that cancelled. It’ll be for just one day and night, and you’ll stay in the room and not be seen. Then I’ll get you out early in the morning. I’ll even throw in the special relaxation services the guest had ordered.”

“Sounds cool man. Will it cost me anything?”

“Not at all. The guest had to pay for one night due to cancelling on short notice, so it’s all covered.”

Awesome man. So how do you get me to the room?”

“Like this.”

Dracula snatches Jonathan up under his cape once again and moves at his fastest speed. Rushing past the guests in the hotel lobby area Dracula is just a blur. He runs up the stairs and down several hallways until he comes to a door that looks like it is in the side of an Egyptian pyramid and dashes inside, making sure the door is shut before setting Jonathan down again.

“Wow dude, that was majorly uncool.

“What is this room? Look at this, it’s off the hook! It’s like I’m in Egypt!”

“Yes. The guest had booked an ancient Egypt themed, um, holiday. For the costume party. Yes.”

“Awesome dude.”

“Why don’t you relax? In fact, you should try the ... special ... herbal wrap service. It’s very relaxing,” Dracula suggests. “Wait right here. I’ll just make sure the ... attendants ... are ready.”

“Cool man.”

Jonathan starts to look around the room while Dracula goes through a door to the left and steps into another room, also made up to look like the inside of a pyramid. He checks the supplies in the room and opens the six sarcophagi revealing a thin mummy in each of them.

“There has been a change in the guest roster. A new guest has shown up at the last minute, and I need you to give him a full, complete rewrap service to include placing him in a new sarcophagus ready for shipping back to Egypt. He has been caught by humans and dressed to look like one and is quite traumatized. He needs to have an entire whole new bandage wrapping.”

The mummy’s just groan back at Dracula.

“Good. I’ll send him right in and you can get started right away. I’d suggest using a cursed amulet on him first to make him feel more relaxed and at home.”

The mummies close their lids as Dracula returns to the other room. He finds Jonathan poking his head into an empty sarcophagus standing in the corner.

“This place is so ancient Egypt dude. There’s even sand piled in all the corners.”

“Yes. We spare no expense to make the guest feel they are getting the best experience.

“The attendants are ready for you. Just go through that door there and lay down on the table in the center of the room. Remember, this a special themed experience, so the attendants will be in costumes and acting their parts.”

“Right dude. Like, I bet they’ll be dressed up like mummies or something.”

“Exactly. Now enjoy the wrap and I will get you out early in the morning.”

“Sure thing man. See ya later.”

Jonathan wanders over through the door while Count Dracula’s mouth twists in an evil smile.

“No, you will not see me,” he whispers, “or anyone else ever again. And you will be leaving in the morning as freight bound for your new home as a gift for Murray. He’s always complaining about not having enough servants around because they’re always falling apart. He’ll love a new, fresh mummy. Once you’ve ‘aged’ a bit you’ll be perfect.”

----- ----- -----

           

Jonathan enters the next room and gazes at all of the items. In the center is a large stone alter with carvings on the sides. Many torches light the room from sconces high up on the walls. Around the room standing up against the walls, six sarcophagi are evenly spaced with one in each corner and one each at the middle of the two longer walls. In between them are narrow shelves attached to the walls which are full of supplies. Supplies intended to refresh and rewrap a mummy in newer and somewhat cleaner bandages, although the rolls of cloth are still quite old looking.

Poking at a few of the items on one shelf, Jonathan shrugs.

“Awesome man. Well, let’s get this party started here. Where are the dudes or dudettes?

“Oh, wait, I bet they’re hiding in the mummy cases! I should go lie down on the table and they’ll probably come out.”

Hopping up on the alter Jonathan lies back and gets comfortable. As soon as he is prone the lids for the six sarcophagi slowly creak open and the mummies all come shambling out.

“Sweet dude! You guys are going all out for this theme. Right on!

“Kinda warm in here though. Still, it makes it seem more like Egypt that way I guess.”

The mummies simply groan back at Jonathan.

One mummy goes over to a shelf and opens a box. Out of it the mummy pulls a gold medallion on a thick chain. Slowly moving over to the alter it holds out the amulet to place it around Jonathans neck.

“Here dude, let me.”

Jonathan takes the cursed amulet from the mummy and slips the chain over his head.

“Whoa. That’s seriously cool. Oh, I feel kinda good now. Really relaxed, like I need to lie down.”

Laying back down again Jonathan simply looks up at the ceiling and barely watches the mummies as they begin to prepare him.

The clothing Jonathan is wearing is removed by the expedient method of being cut off with a knife leaving him naked. His wild red hair is first cut extremely short, and then his head is shaved to remove the remaining stubble.

Three of the mummies bring over shallow brass pans half filled with scented oils while the other three carry pitchers filled with clean water. The water is poured over Jonathan to wash off the dust, grime, and any loose hairs from the shaving and the water evaporates quickly in the heat of the room. All six of the mummies then proceed to rub the oils into Jonathan’s skin from head to toe, not missing any parts. As the oils are rubbed in, Jonathan’s skin begins to change. It goes from the normal pink tones and soft pliable skin of a human to darkening considerably and looking like old stiff leather, although the mummies are still able to easily bend his joints.

As the mummies work with the oils and the changes are taking effect, Jonathan speaks up in a far away and dreamy voice.

“That feels really strange dude. Is this the first part of the herbal?”

The mummy closest to his head gives a long moan.

“Cool man. Will the wrap soak it up later? It feels like it’s getting kinda hard on me.”

The mummy gives Jonathan a shorter moan to which he doesn’t reply.

Once the pans are empty of oil, the mummies move out of the room. When they come back in they are carrying the empty sarcophagus from the other room and place it on the floor off to one side against the wall. After setting the case down they shuffle over and stand in front of their open sarcophagi again. They wait for an hour while Jonathan’s skin continues to change and shrivel, ending up leaving his body looking desiccated and thin. His eyes have sunk in to his head leaving dark empty looking eye sockets, and his lips have tightened up and pulled back permanently exposing his teeth.

Jonathan just lies on the alter as if he is asleep, seemingly unaware of what is happening to him. When the mummies begin to move again they bring over four jars made of a very pale green jade, with lids made to resemble the heads of animals.

“Guys, that was a nice rest, but I’m having a hard time moving here,” Jonathan says as he tries to move an arm and a leg with great difficulty. “I hope the next part adds a hefty moisturizer, because my skin feels really dry and stiff.”

One mummy holds up a bronze knife and runs the tip down Jonathan’s abdomen on the lower left side and across his chest just below the ribs. The knife does not cut, instead it leaves a glowing line behind where it touches. Taking a canopic jar, one of the mummies touches the head of the animal carved lid to the line across the chest. The jar glows for a moment then it appears that something is now filling the jar.

“What, what was that? That didn’t feel good. Like something was pulled out of me.”

The mummies do not respond and the second jar is touched to the line on the side of the abdomen. A moment later it too is now full.

“Whoa guys. This isn’t right here. What’s going on?”

Despite his weak protests, Jonathan barely moves. The power of the curse on the medallion is keeping him calm, and the transformation of his flesh keeps him from moving too much. The two remaining canopic jars are filled as well and all four are placed in an empty space at the foot of the new sarcophagus. Collecting up multiple rolls of linen cloth bandages each, the mummies return to Jonathan who is still calmly lying on the alter.

“Time for the wrap? Good. I’m ready to get this done. Let’s get going dudes.”

One mummy lifts Jonathan’s right leg, while another lifts his left arm. Beginning with the fingers and toes two more mummies begin to individually wrap each one tightly with small narrow bandages while the last two pass over more bandages as needed. When all five of the fingers are done a wider roll is used to wrap the hand and wrist. The same is done with the foot and ankle once the toes are secured in their own wrappings. A wider roll is used to work on up the forearm and lower leg respectively, wrapping all the way up to the shoulder on the arm and the groin on the leg. The bandages are wrapped on with a three-quarter overlap which makes the layer relatively thick and ensures no flesh is left peaking out between turns of the cloth.

Shifting positions and switching tasks as needed the mummies lay down the bandaged limbs and pick up the other leg and arm. These are wrapped in bandages in the same manner with the same effect. Shifting again, the mummies repeat the wrappings on the first two limbs so that two thick layers encase the arm and leg and a second layer is done for the other two limbs as well. Going back to the first two limbs a third layer is started, but instead of individually wrapping the fingers and toes they are bound together this time leaving Jonathan’s hands looking like thumb less mittens.

When all of Jonathan’s arms and legs are covered in three thick layers of bandages each, the mummies shift positions again so that two of them can lift up his hips and lower torso. His legs are spread out a bit further and the four other mummies begin to wrap bandages around his hips crotch and waist, making sure to overlap the bandages on the legs by the width of three turns. As they continue to wrap on up over Jonathan’s belly and chest the mummies shift positions and switch jobs so that his torso is constantly held up to give enough space to pass the bandages underneath. When they reach the amulet around Jonathan’s neck it is not taken off, just lifted up so that the bandages can be wrapped in place under it. Wrapping bandages over the shoulders and down onto the arms the first layer over his torso is completed. Moving back down to the hips a second matching layer is wrapped in place then a third layer over that one.

Jonathan is now wrapped in bandages from his neck down, completely covering everything so that there is no exposed skin to be seen.

“Guys, how much longer is this going to take here?” Jonathans asks quietly. “These bandages are getting kinda tight, but they do feel pretty good. I almost want to keep them on they are starting to feel so good.”

One of the mummies gives a low, guttural, moaning laugh knowing that the spells in the bandages are infusing Jonathan’s body and binding the bandages to him for all eternity.

Laying Jonathan down on the alter, the mummies move back down to his feet and begin a new layer of bandages, wrapping both legs at  the same time while continuing to keep them separate. The bandaging continues all the way up to his neck and on down to the finger tips in one continuous layer of bandages. Completing this fourth layer a fifth layer is wrapped in the same manner, but starting from the fingers and working down to the toes. The cursed amulet remains free of the wrapping, lying on Jonathan’s linen covered chest.

The mummies all step back for a moment as they gather up shallow pans and brushes. The liquid in the pans has been kept heated over low flames and appears to be yellowish in color. Dipping the brushes in the fluid the mummies begin to liberally brush it onto the bandages where it quickly soaks in. They cover the entire front side of Jonathan then gently roll him over and cover the backside, making sure no spots are missed. They repeat the process two more times, doing three passes over both sides in all, then place the still half full pans over the flames again and allow the resin in the bandages to begin to dry some while they gather up a fresh batch of bandages, this time only selecting longer and wider rolls.

Jonathan manages to raise his head and looks down at himself.

“Um, dudes. Are you getting more? This is really thick. I don’t think a herbal wrap is supposed to be this thick is it? I can’t really move much anymore here,” he says while trying to move and barely getting a wiggle.

The mummies come back and arrange the rolls of bandages around Jonathan then lift his feet in the air. Pulling Jonathan’s enshrouded legs together side-by-side they begin to fill in the spaces between his legs with more resin soaked bundles of cloth until the spaces are filled in even with the tops and bottoms of his legs. Picking up fresh rolls the mummies wrap bandages around both feet binding them together. The still sticky resin helps to hold his legs together as the next layer is applied. The same care with wrapping is followed as every layer had been done so that there are no visible bandages from the lower layer to be seen. The wrapping continues on up all the way to Jonathan’s armpits, and the medallion is left to lie on his chest this time so that it is now held under the new layer. Picking up Jonathan’s arms the mummies are able to bend the elbows and cross Jonathan’s arms at the wrists over top of his chest. More resin soaked wads of bandages are used to fill in the empty spaces around and between his arms, and then rolls of bandages are wrapped over top to tightly bind Jonathan’s arms down.

“This isn’t cool any more dudes. I don’t think this is a herbal wrap. I seriously can’t even move anymore here.”

The mummies ignore Jonathan, and fresh rolls of bandages are used to extend the wrapping on up his neck and they begin to wrap Jonathan’s head as well.

“Hey, you guys need to stop now. This isn’t funny anymore. I- mmmuummffph.“

One of the mummies suddenly stuffs the end of a bandage into Jonathan’s mouth, cutting off what Jonathan was saying. More of the bandage is stuffed in until Jonathans cheeks start to bulge, then resin is poured over the bandage and in his mouth so that it soaks down into the cloth filling his mouth. The rest of the roll is tightly wound around under Jonathan’s chin and up over the top of his head several times forcing his jaw closed. A new roll is wrapped around over his mouth and the back of his head sealing his lips shut and continuing up over his nose. Jonathan’s empty eye sockets are left uncovered as the bandages are wrapped up over his forehead and the top of his head again. The bandaging is concise and carefully applied so that when done the only thing left visible is Jonathan’s empty ‘eyes’. Two more layers are wound around Jonathan’s head, further muffling his attempts to make any sounds of protest. When three layers are finished on Jonathan’s head a pan of warm resin is brought over and brushed over the bandages to soak in and dry. When the resin is done two more layers of bandages are wound around Jonathan’s head but covering his eyes this time and another application of resin is done again.

While Jonathan’s head was being enshrouded, the resin that had been applied to the rest of his bandages had continued to dry and harden. When the mummies move down to Jonathan’s feet again to start a new layer, the resin has hardened enough that lifting his feet raised his entire body. The mummies continue their assigned task, wrapping more and more bandages around Jonathan’s now rigid, encased body.

The wrapping takes several hours to complete. By the end, fifteen more layers of bandages were applied bringing it up to twenty layers. Every five layers the mummies would stop the bandaging and soak the bandages with more resin, brushing on three applications each time. The heat and dry air in the room helped to quickly dry the resin and harden it. By the time the twentieth layer was done, the layers had grown so thick that there was absolutely no definition to the form of the person contained within. Even the arms had almost disappeared, leaving only a small rise over the chest to be seen. The neck was simply a straight rise up from the shoulders to the top of the head. Only the feet protruding up could be defined as such, and even they were thick and formless. If Jonathan was trying to make any sounds or move on the inside, there was no sign of the attempts from the outside. The mummy on the alter was silent and motionless.

A final and last layer of bandages, making twenty-one layers in all, is wound over top of the still wet resin from the twentieth layer. This layer of bandages is wrapped with intricate detail, creating a pattern of crisscrossing bandages from the toes to the chin of the new mummy.

The mummies pick up the mummiform containing Jonathan and carry it over to the empty sarcophagus waiting nearby. Laying the mummy inside, it fits like a glove; the interior contours of the sarcophagus perfectly matching the outer dimensions of the mummy that used to be Jonathan. A lid is placed over the mummy and wooden pegs are only partially nailed in place to hold the sarcophagus shut.

Lifting up the coffin, the six mummies carry it out through the main room and on down the hallway. It is now late at night and few guests are wandering about, so nobody witnesses the procession. Arriving at the shipping desk the sarcophagus is left lying down behind the counter. The mummies turn around and slowly return to their own sarcophagi and close the lids until needed again.

A few hours later Count Dracula walks up to the desk and leans over to see the sarcophagus. Pulling the pegs free, Dracula opens the lid and gazes at the mummy lying quietly within.

“Well done. Now, no human has ever seen this sanctuary for monsters from their world. Jonathan is well past the point of no return now and on his way to becoming a mindless slave and a monster himself. Maybe some day Murray will bring him along as a servant and Jonathan will get to visit us once again.”

Placing the lid in place again, Dracula coats the pegs with fresh resin and nails them down completely sealing the lid shut.

Smiling, Dracula writes up a shipping manifest and label, taping them to the top of the sarcophagus over the chest. Pulling a sealed envelope from out of his cape he adds it to the papers on top, two simple words gracing the envelope with a flowing script – To Murray. Once the gargoyle in charge of shipping arrives he would see to getting the sarcophagus crated up and shipped out to Egypt to be delivered.

The End